This cereal is like American Hustle. Everything about it seems like it would be great but for some reason I just don’t like it. It’s got all the right parts. Chocolate. Bradley Cooper. Peanut Butter. Amy Adams. It turns the milk into chocolate milk. Christian Bale. It doesn’t get soggy. Jennifer Lawrence.
Ok, this weird literary tactic feels like it is taking a big “L” but I like Bradley Cooper being surrounded by Peanut Butter and Chocolate.
If you want a chocolatey cereal, just go with Cocoa Krispies. It actually turns your milk into chocolate milk instead of getting your expectations up only to be let down but underwhelming milk with a nudge of chocolate. (“Hint” would’ve been too positive of a word to describe the flavor).
And if you want a peanut butter cereal, maybe try that new Jif cereal? or Cap’n Crunch’s Peanut Butter Crunch? I don’t know.. I haven’t tried either of these and I’d actually just recommend an English Muffin with peanut butter if you really want peanut butter. In fact, as I write this, I’m taking a strong stance against peanut butter in cereal.
Cereal is a gateway food. It allows you to have the foods you want for breakfast but can’t really have. If you start eating chocolate for breakfast, your loved ones would ship you off to fat camp. So instead there’s Cocoa Puffs. Or Cocoa Krispies or Cookie Crisp. Or Krave but thats just so Krave doesn’t feel left out.
Or you want corn for breakfast, first see a doctor, and then he’ll prescribe you Corn Flakes. Or Kix. Basically, if this makes sense to you, there is help for you. (the same goes for people who wake up and want rice.(rice krispies, rice chex etc))
But my point is, cereal is a sneaky way to get what you want in a cereal because social conventions don’t allow for some foods upon waking. However, peanut butter is a perfectly acceptable breakfast food and force it way into pristine world of cereal is not only unnecessary, but arrogant.
The best part of American Hustle is every scene with Louie C.K. He does not play a major role but and if I remember correctly, the story he tells throughout the movie doesn’t even conclude. The Louie C.K. of Reese’s Cereal is the way the last 20-30 spheres clump together. Some form a ring around the outside. Some drift aimlessly like Pi Patel and Richard Parker. (Editor’s note: easy on the movies references there, Ebert). Basically, this cereal is not for me and the thing I like about it has nothing to do with its consumption.
You might like it. It seems like people would like this cereal but I am just not one of those people. So I guess I recommend that people try it and let me know if I’m crazy if you feel the same way I do.
Rotten Tomatoes score: 93%
It’s got too much going for it to get a low score but a strong-willed, free thinking person knows that Rotten Tomatoes is not the be all end of movie reviews. So for me the most important thing is the D-Moore Score and the D-Moore Score is….
FAIL
a cereal blog 